It’s true, any new relationship is filled with excitement and possibility as couples get to know each other on an emotional and physical level. This is commonly known as the honeymoon period. It’s a time that’s all consuming when love is first kindled.
It’s when a relationship settles into a rhythm and the reality of the rigours of every day appear that some couples find it hard to determine if the relationship is right for them. And for some couples, an issue may appear many years into their relationship – even if things had previously been going well.
For Natasha and Adam, two people who had been together for over eight years, things took a turn for the worse when Natasha accepted a new role and was spending more time in the office.
Adam, who thought they were ready for children, realised it was unlikely to happen with the hours Natasha was working. It seemed as though they had reached a relationship impasse and neither was sure how it was going to end.
“I was so resentful of Adam,” Natasha says. “I really thought he had my back and wanted me to succeed in my career. Yet at every turn he kept asking when we were going to have a baby – and when I could take maternity leave.”
Adam, however, felt as though Natasha had reneged on her promise to have kids.
“We’d agreed – well I thought we had – to settle down and have kids, but we were just not on the same page,” Adam said.
“It was really frustrating – for both of us.”
Both feeling like they weren’t being heard, they spent months dodging the subject or, when they did address it, started fighting. It was when Natasha started sharing her frustrations with a friend that she was introduced to Couplet.
“It really changed our perspective – within days,” Natasha said. “We were able to more effectively talk to each other, effectively understanding the other person’s point of view and built out a platform for our future.
“The process was simple, non-threatening and not patronising. We knew we didn’t need relationship counselling, but we did need a bit of help to get us back on the same page and this really was something useful without the overpriced overkill of a counsellor.
“Adam and I spent a weekend away and did the course, interspersing it with walks, meals and wine. It was an opportunity to reconnect and we made a big plan for our lives – which we are on our way to achieving.”
According to Adam, the program saved them wasting time bickering.
“Pretty much as soon as we started the course, with David and Cheryl talking us through the process and then doing the worksheets – we were already in a better headspace,” Adam said.
“We’ve mapped out a five-year plan and it’s nice that every six months or so we sit down and revisit – and also take a moment to remind ourselves why we love each other so much and what we are working towards.”
Couplet is an online course for couples looking to take their relationship to the next level by getting to know each other’s past, present and building a connected future.
Couples in new or long-term relationships.